Abanes – a type of “Christian” that pursues to destroy a fellow Christian (usually a critic), ignoring biblical protocol and common sense. Often, an abanes often suffers from idolatry.
Word origin: From Richard Abanes who tried to take out Christian pastor and blogger Ken Silva. 

Absolunity – a false sense of unity where people are forced, tricked or coerced dishonestly (often done so in the name of love, faith or “Jesus”).
Word origin: Merging of “absolutism” and “unity”.

Abracadabra – a type of sermon where the pastor is vision casting over their congregation.

Aftertwelving – a period of time either during or after a church skit, event or uglitz where the magic wears off and the after-effects of the piece does more damage than good.
Word origin: From the story Cinderella where the magic wore off after twelve o’clock.

Airbending –manipulating the atmosphere to give the impression the Holy Spirit is actually physically present. (Not to be confused with sirenading.)

Air mattress – what one sees from the balcony at a mass wind orchestra event, in which occasionally windsocks and windchimes float on.


Alcawol – an addictive mental substance that causes preachers to experience mental AWOL. Alcawol is often described as Jehovawana, Godka, or “experiencing the Holy Ghost.”

Alcawolic – the title given to a preacher who is addicted to alcawol or their own ideas. (Famous alcawolics are John Crowder, Todd Bentley, James Dunn and Brandon Barthrop.)

Antithesis backflip (darkothesis) – a deceptive preaching technique where the teacher reads the scripture (thesis); insists what the scripture does not say (antithesis); but smuggles the error into the antithesis which in turn flips the meaning of the original scripture to say something it doesn’t. (Teachers who us this technique often teach a form of Marcionism – a gnostic heresy.)

Apostasis – the state of the current visible apostate church.

Apostess – a derogatory term given to a dominating woman who claims to be an “apostle”.

Apostessi – plurality of apostess.

Apostuzi – the collective word for a bunch of gathered false apostles.
Word origin: Merging of “apostle” and “uzi”.

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